You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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