you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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