we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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