I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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