she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
