we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
