I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize