Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
