I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
