hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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