Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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