I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
