he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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