he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
