he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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