I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
