Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
