This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
