Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
