this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
