All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
