As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just want nice things and good sex
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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