There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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