if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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