Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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