Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
