And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize