guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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