You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
