Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
