that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
