Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
