I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
