You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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