So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
