He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
