Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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