what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
