Soap is not a condiment
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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