so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
