Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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