I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you inspire me to be a worse person
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
