I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
