If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
