WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
