just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How naked do you want me to be?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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