I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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