My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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