Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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