how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
