people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
