idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize