im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
