She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
