I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
