theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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