i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
did you just send me my own nude
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
