After last night, I could never be a politician.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
