ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
